Disenfranchised is a rather tricky word
by Madam Mimm
Summary: At a home for disenfranchised or disassociated toons, Yakko, Lydia, Wakko, BJ and Dot struggle through coping with being 90s cast-offs
1. Chapter 1

There is a building just outside of Burbank, L.A. Well, to be pedantic, there are many, but this particular one was special. It lay just outside the town, through the bridge that led to Toon Town. No one was really sure how or why it came about any more, but it was generally accepted that it had been there since the 50s. The building, that is. Toon Town's development is an entirely different story. But regardless; the building sat, square and wide, with clean grey-brown brick and a garden quad in the middle. The gleaming brass plaque outside identified it simply as the "Valiant and Rabbit Recuperative Home for Disenfranchised Toons".

One of the many spacious, clean and bright TV rooms that the brochure occupied was attached to the ward for Toons that had run from the mid eighties to the mid nineties. It made more sense to group them that way, as most of them were ageless, or at least permanently stuck at one physical age. The 90s ward was unusually quiet, the only sounds being the modest easy jazz that was pumped in over the speakers, the rattling of plastic dice as Pepper Ann, Doug Funny and Darkwing Duck played Yahtzee by the windows, and the rustle of a newspaper. Beneath the newspaper, a furry white toe tapped aimlessly in time to the music. The owner of the toe glanced up from his newspaper, raising eyebrows at the clock. The bright light that poured in through the windows bounced off of his white facial mask, making his black fur seem all the darker. His tail twitched impatiently as he listened for something before going back to his newspaper. It was quiet today, Yakko noted. He wondered how long it would last.

As if by some divine power, no sooner had Yakko thought it than a door down the corridor slammed open, and a yellow tornado bowled down towards him.

"Well ex-cah-you-se me!" The voice covered several octaves (and possibly a few parallel dimensions) in an annoyingly vibrant sing-song lilt. "It's not my fault if you have daddy issues." The yellow hurricane screeched to a halt, revealing a man in a brilliant yellow suit with a chiselled green face. Yakko was not fazed.

"Daddy issues?" the second voice, while restricted to a normal conversational range, was much angrier. "The A-man doesn't have issues, man!" So saying, Ace Ventura, resplendent in Hawaiian shirted glory, stormed through the open door and followed after his green faced cousin. "You know, you really should take that mask off. I think it's suffocating your brain. Here, let me help!" And, as Ace tackled The Mask to the ground, the 90s ward of the V.R.R.D.T returned to its usual hectic pace. The meeting of the "Movie Adaptations Character Support Group" had, once again, not so much finished as exploded. This was what Yakko deemed "the average Wednesday" and, true to form, the easy jazz was replaced by a lively Calypso, questioned by no one as a bawdy laugh cut through the air.

"Oh come on, Babes! That was funny!" The ghoul of a toon cackled, drifting several feet off the ground, not bothering to even look as though he were walking. His companion, a much smaller teenage girl, did not seem impressed. She was petite and skinny, with large, dark eyes, and was clad head to toe in red and black.

"I don't think it was, BJ. You really should be more honest in those sessions. You could at least try."

"Shows what you know." He sneered, green teeth poking through his upturned lip. "I always try. In fact, you could say... I'm the most trying person there!" He laughed again, before drifting up to the ceiling light and examining it for bugs.

"Morning, Lydia." Yakko didn't look up as Lydia sank down onto the couch next to him, rolling her eyes at her decomposed friend.

"Hey Yaks. Have you finished the word jumble yet?"

"Not even started." Yakko let the newspaper drop slightly, grinning at her. "You were out sooner than expec... Oop!" Yakko twisted around in his seat, noticing a weary-looking nurse attempting to sneak past him. He grinned. "Hell-Oh, nurse!" The nurse sighed and slumped, before walking past him, head drooping.

"Hello, Yakko. You know, it's been over two months now, and it's still not funny."

"You should talk to nurse Romano, she's been here twelve years and she thinks it's hilarious!" Yakko shot a wink at Lydia, settling back into his seat. "Ah, the one perk of agelessness."

"People can't bring themselves to beat you up?"

"Of course."

Lydia giggled, before glaring up at Beetlejuice, who had started circling the ceiling light, hoping to catch a spider that had hidden in the fixture.

"BJ, you could at least say hello."

"Huh? Oh, hey, Yakko."

"Hey, Beej. How was Group Therapy?"

"Enlightening." Beetlejuice grinned, before being pun-tastically electrocuted by the ceiling light, causing everyone to duck for cover. There was a silent pause.

"Huh..." Yakko looked around, noting the confusion on everyone's faces. Every Wednesday at nine, He and his sibs woke up, wandered into the cafeteria, and had breakfast with everyone. At ten, the Movie adaptations were called for Group, and the others were left to amuse themselves in the TV room. At ten thirty, or thereabouts, Group reaches fever-pitch and is abandoned by everyone; then, a few minutes later, Beetlejuice would invariably make some horrible pun and cause chaos. This was routine. But the routine would always continue when The Tick bounded in, screaming "Spoon", and determined that Beetlejuice was a threat to the city, beating him to a pulp before being dragged into the Nurses' station and given some tranquilisers. It happened every week, like clockwork. Why wasn't it happening now?

Lydia looked at Yakko, biting her lip. Something was wrong. They both knew it. Yakko cleared his throat, calling over to the nurse who was supervising Dot and Tails (they were being detained for combining forces and trying to steal peoples' personal files).

"Hey... where's Tick?"

"He moved out last night, dear." The nurse, a plump, well-meaning woman, was clearly uncomfortable with having to tell them all in this way. "He... that is to say, the doctors... well, honey, there was no way he could be reformed. He needed more... intense counselling."

The silence was deathly. The Carey clones stopped fighting, to stare tight-lipped at the nurse. Dot and Tails gazed up at her, shock in their eyes. Pepper Ann, Doug and Darkwing all stopped playing, bowing their heads out of respect, while Pinky and the Brain stopped attempting to pry open one of the windows, to stare. Even Beetlejuice, still a pile of blackened ashes on the floor, shuffled closer to Lydia, silently. Yakko swallowed slightly, realising his mouth had gone very dry.

"He... did they take him to the psych ward?"

"Yes, sweetie." The nurse sighed, standing, and beginning to leave the room. "They tell me he's settled in very well there, for what it's worth. He's made good friends with the CatDog, and Cow and Chicken..." The nurse left quietly, her head bowed. Silence washed over the room, everyone avoiding each other's glance. It was Dot and Tails that began to whimper, easing through the icy silence. They stood, Dot running to Yakko, and Tails hiding behind Sonic, both close to tears. With a quiet, self-conscious "pop", BJ returned to his (ab)normal form and sat down next to Lydia, wrapping a protective arm around her. Then it was the turn of The Mask, hanging his head and removing the wooden Mask, with an appropriately desolate cry and gust of wind, returning to Stanley Ipkiss, who patted Ace's shoulder, awkwardly. No one was surprised. They had expected it to happen for months; The Tick was hardly the sort of toon you could get more work for. But still, it was devastating news. Once a toon was sent to the Psych ward, there was little to no chance they'd ever be discharged. Dot sniffed into Yakko's shoulder. He sighed, and hugged her. It would be hard telling Wakko. Tick had been a close friend of his, and this wouldn't help Wakko's ever-present fear of he, or someone he cared for, being sectioned.

"Poor guy." BJ was the first to speak, the serious tone sounding unnatural.

"He's where he can get help, now." Darkwing nodded, face set in resolution as he gathered up the Yahtzee dice. "It's for the best."

Everyone ignored Darkwing. His constant, unwavering belief that the Authority was almighty and infallible was, at the best of times, irritating. But no one wanted to fight now, so they just ignored him. The hubbub returned though, as awkward conversation began to fill the void, life making its' best to continue as normal. Yakko sighed, giving Dot another hug before setting her down on the floor.

"You ok?" Lydia almost stood with him, but he held up a hand, waving her away.

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go tell Wakko." Yakko left, hands deep in his pockets, frowning in thought.

"Poor Yakko." Lydia sighed, not noticing as Beetlejuice shifted on the couch, effectively pulling her closer to him. "He looks so sad."

"We're all sad, Lyds." BJ stared at the TV, shifting his shoulders awkwardly. "It's what happens. People go away. Life goes on."

"BJ!" Lydia scowled, glancing nervously at Dot, who still looked quite upset. "That's so harsh!"

"Harsh?" he almost yelped the word, moving away from her again. "Babes, I really wish you'd make up your mind. First you tell me to be honest, then you say I'm being harsh."

"Not now, BJ."

"You're tearing me apart!" True to form, he began to tear down the middle, but stopped when he saw Lydia's glare. Dot, however, let out a choked giggle. "See? I was just trying..."

"I know, BJ." Lydia sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "I guess everyone's just a bit emotional."

Aside from Wakko being severely disheartened for the rest of the day, the Wednesday routine continued as normal. Pies were thrown, jokes were cracked, and escape attempts were made. The 90s ward had its' usual therapy sessions, job interviews and physics-defying visual gags, and everyone carried on. After the sun had set, Yakko stood from the board game, leaving the dice-junkies to play into the night.

"You going to bed?" Lydia smiled, as she hung upside-down from the ceiling, suspended there by Beetlejuice.

"Yeah. I'm beat." Yakko yawned, having to double take as he noted the supremely unimpressed expression on BJ's face.

"Sleep well." Lydia, ever the thoughtful friend, gave him another concerned smile. Yakko smiled back, but was once again put off by the sour-faced ghost

"G'night, Lyds. Beej. And you can stop glaring." Yakko stretched nonchalantly, before shooting an evil smirk towards the glowering ghoul. "I'm not going to steal her away from you, if that's what you're worried about." Yakko toon-sped down the corridor to his room, before Beetlejuice could finish reacting incredulously and try to juice him. Lydia just giggled, noting a hint of pink spread across BJ's cheeks. She smiled at him, spinning around in the air so that she was the right way up again.

"Any idea what he meant by that?"

"No." BJ was defiant, but his confidence was undermined by the amount of eye contact he was making with one of the linoleum floor tiles. "Warners. You know I think they're crazy." Lydia raised an eyebrow, but continued drifting down to the floor.

"How long have we been in this home now, Beej?"

"Uh... I don't remember... fifteen years, I guess? Oh man, I'm ancient!" So saying, he crumbled into dust, before reappearing next to Lydia, on the floor.

"Yeah... goodnight, Beetlejuice."

"Aw, babes, don't send me back there!"

"You want to stay, Beetlejuice?"

"You know it! Or, hey, come back with me, we can party all night!"

"But I want to sleep... Beetlejuice."

"Aw, you're no fun." He pouted, before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Lydia giggled, knowing he would already be waiting in her mirror. She ran her fingers through her thick, black hair, waving goodnight to the board-game addicts, shutting Pinky and the Brain in their cage for the night, and wishing the nurses a pleasant evening. She had been fifteen now for fifteen years. And she knew, eventually, he'd work up the courage to admit his feelings for her. She was starting to get sick of waiting, though.


	2. Chapter 2

Patient Name: Warner, Yakko.

Patient Number: 23425

Date of cancellation: May, 1998

Date of entry to institution: July, 1998

Doctor's Notes:

Patient's improvement has hit a plateau. While he is somewhat behaviourally calmed, he has become almost surly in his attitude, his wit turning to passive aggression. Most concerning me, however, is his attitude towards his siblings. Whilst he has always been protective and taken the role of care-giver, he seems to have become almost dependant on that role, defining himself by it...

Yakko picked absent-mindedly at the peeling leather of the less-than-comfortable psychiatry couch. Doctor Grayne, a heavy-set woman with sharp features and a tight bun of salt-and-pepper grey hair, scribbled notes down into his file.

"Our first meeting of 2011, Yakko."

"Well, unless you count those seven minutes on New Year's eve." Yakko quipped, wiggling his eyebrows. Doctor Grayne gazed at him, eyes narrow, before noting down something else.

"That makes it... over twelve years now, yes?"

"Heading for the unlucky thirteen." Yakko leant back on the couch, crossing his legs. "Who know's what'll happen?"

"Do you not feel recuperated yet? You certainly seemed to have moved on from the loss of your show."

"What? Don't you like having me around, doc?"

"Do you like being here?"

"What are you trying to imply?"

"You think I can't play this game all day, if I want to?"

They exchanged challenging glares, Yakko giving a wry smile. Eventually, he settled back on the couch, waving his hand and permitting her to continue. She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, making another note. "Now, there are many avenues open to you thanks to your connections with Warner Brothers. Look at Babs and Buster, they only left a month ago, and..."

"Not interested. Who's going to take an eternal pre-teen seriously?"

"Your agelessness is nothing to be ashamed of, Yakko. But then, you do have money... you could always pay for Physical Editing Surgery to make yourself older, if you find it that much of a..."

"Being redrawn? Hell. No." Yakko spat, defiantly. "If I'm ageless, I'm ageless. Match the job to the toon, Doc."

"So you're fully capable of leaving the institution, and securing employment, but I'm getting the impression that you just don't want to. Could it be anything to do with your reluctance to admit failure?"

Yakko made an unimpressed fart noise through his teeth, glaring out of the window.

"Especially to your siblings?"

Yakko fell silent. Doctor Grayne nodded, making another note.

"You could always leave them here in the nurses' care, and sign them out when you feel you've secured a reliable way of life..."

"No!" Yakko sat bolt upright, eyes wide with a mix of fear and anger. "I'm not leaving them. Not here, not anywhere."

There was another stony silence. The session continued.

"Hell-Oh, gothic nurse!" Wakko leapt the arm of the couch, dropping down next to Lydia, grinning up at her.

"Hello, Wakko. And Dot." She giggled, as his sister clambered up between her and Beetlejuice. "What's up?"

"We're doing interviews!" Wakko held up a large scrapbook and a pencil.

"We're going to interview everyone in the ward, so we'll be able to remember each person." Dot smiled, tugging the corners of her faded pink skirt.

"Aww, that's so sweet." Lydia smiled. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes.

"Sickeningly so."

"BJ..." Lydia gave him a warning glare, to which he held up his hands.

"We wanted to interview you two!" Wakko grinned, bouncing in his seat. Dot joined him. "Can we, can we, can we?"

"Sure." Lydia giggled, standing and gaining herself one of Beetlejuice's unimpressed stares. "But I'd suggest you start with him. I just need to go to the bathroom." This got her an upgrade to death glare, but Wakko and Dot continued, either oblivious to his pain, or just plain enjoying it.

"Alright..." Wakko put his tongue between his teeth, brow furrowed in concentration as he began to write. "Name... Bee-tul..."

"Hey! I told you before about using that word!"

"How do you spell it?" Wakko frowned. BJ sighed, irritably. If it had to be done, he may as well go along with it and make things easier.

"B-E-E...T-L-E...J-U-I-C-E."

"Huh." Dot pouted, thoughtfully. "I'd have thought it would have been B-E-T-E-L-G-E-U-S-E, like the planet system located in the Orion constellation." Beetlejuice glared at her, before staring at the TV.

"No one likes a smart-mouth, princess."

"Ok... favourite colour?"

"Black. Or... white..." he wasn't sure. Dot and Wakko seemed impatient for an answer. "Or slime green. Or putrid purple..."

"Eew." Dot gagged. BJ grinned wickedly, taking this as a cue to continue.

"But then pus yellow is quite nice... Dried-blood burgundy, squished-bug blue, fridge-bottom brown..."

"Eeew!" Dot repeated, gagging further. Wakko just looked thoughtful.

"I prefer my fridge-bottoms green... best friend?"

"Lydia."

"Favourite hobby?"

"Hobby?" He thought for a moment, before grinning wickedly, as demon horns sprouted through his forehead. "Torturing innocent people with hilarious pranks."

"That is quite fun." Wakko nodded, scribbling it down.

"What?" Dot giggled. "Not making kissyface with Lydia?"

"Hey, what?" BJ started, leaping to his feet in an attempt to pass off the creeping blush as anger. "How dare you talk to me like that?"

"Because it's true?" Dot countered, standing on the couch so she was almost equal height with him. "Face it, we all know you guys are practically a couple. You do couple-y things and spend all your time together, you just don't kiss or hold hands or anything."

"Yeah... well..." BJ was stumped. Dot had a habit of disarming him in this way; she looked so cute and innocent, he tended to forget she was mentally seventeen. "Forget this. Interview over."

"Fine." Wakko shrugged, standing. "We'll just ask your girlfriend to answer the rest of the questions for you." BJ began to fume, growling as the Warners ran, giggling and shrieking, out of the TV room. He wasn't going to go after them. He'd been here long enough. He had developed self control...

"Lydia and BJ, sitting in a tree..."

Which, at this point in time, he chose to ignore.

"Get back here you little brats!" He took flight, smoke pouring from his ears and his eyes glowing red, while the younger Warner siblings just carried on teasing him.

"Oh dear..." Nurse Romano, an aged amazon with silver-grey hair cropped short, replaced the phone in the Nurses' station, walking into the TV room.

"Bad news?" Doug Funny looked up from today's game of the day (today's indulgence was Clue), causing his companions to stop.

"He's on his way back." Nurse Romano sighed, before walking down the ward. The board-gamers looked at each other, worried.

That was all it took for the rumour to spread like wildfire and, within ten minutes, a good ninety percent of the wards' populous were skipping lunch to stare out of the window closest to the front door, some waiting with baited breath, some with blind fury.

"Ooh, he's got a nerve turning up here again." Pepper Ann growled from the back of the group, straining her spaghetti legs to see over everyone's heads.

"Dot, you're sticking with me and Wakko from now on." Yakko looked down at his sister, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders.

"No fear. He might try and brainwash me."

"Oh come on..." The Mask drawled, grinning broadly. "He's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Several members of the group jeered and swatted at him, and someone growled.

"Why do they keep bringing him back here?" One of the nurses mumbled, shaking her head. "They should just bump him straight down to psych ward and have done with it."

"That's not fair." Lydia turned away from the window, flame sparking in her eyes. "The guy is clearly delusional! He needs help! He just needs to be educated."

"Honey." The nurse sighed, patting Lydia's hand. "He shouldn't ever have been created. Disney weren't thinking about his rights when they drew up someone as crazy as that. It's like dealing with the love child of Narcissus and Captain Ahab..."

"He's here!" Sonic pointed out of the window, drawing their attention towards a taxi cab that had pulled up outside. Two male nurses ran out of the front door to greet them, and another climbed out of the further passenger door. Between them, they guided the protesting, burly figure into the hospital, where he would be re-administrated. The group dispersed, with most of the female members finding a male bodyguard or two to hang around with.

"All right, everyone." Nurse Romano sighed, a weary yet determined scowl setting on her jaw, giving way to an attempt at a reassuring smile. "Gaston's back. And I know he's difficult, but you're going to have to get along with it."

"Get along with it." Yakko repeated in a mocking tone, as the toons retreated to their usual haunts. "For one thing, that's not even correct English." The younger siblings giggled slightly, spurring him on with a mischievous smile. "Grammar, Nurse, grammar!" He wagged a finger at Nurse Romano, before lifting Dot up into a piggyback. He didn't like Gaston. He felt sorry for the guy, in fact, being only half characterised by Disney to be simply misogynistic and constantly looking for bragging rights. Not bad enough to go to the Home for Villains, not sane enough to successfully reintegrate into society. He'd try, once every so often, and be gone for varying amounts of time (sometimes months, sometimes weeks, and, on one occasion, exactly three hours and forty nine minutes) but would invariably return after being reprimanded for inappropriate behaviour, acting on prejudice, and not being of sound mind. The man was pathetic, Yakko thought, irritating and pitiful, but at the same time, he made it so easy for people to dislike him. Especially when he went around insulting every woman who crossed his path, and every man who wasn't drinking beer, killing things, or ogling women.

"Hey! Babes!" A voice emanated from Lydia's pocket, or, to be precise, the hand mirror she took out of her pocket. "What's going on?"

"Gaston's back." Lydia sighed into the mirror, waving goodbye to the other toons as she opened the door to her room, closing it behind her. The walls were white, but covered in print-outs, drawings and collages, and the skull-covered bed-spread lent something of the oddly gothic to it. She placed the hand mirror on the dresser, and Beetlejuice hopped expertly from it to the larger vanity mirror stood on top of it. His straw-dry hair framed his evil grin.

"Oh boy... he's so much fun to mess with."

"Beetlejuice."

"Hey yeah, twice more and I can greet the schmuck in person!"

"Beetlejuice, he's a sick man. He needs help, and care. Not... not beetlejuicing."

"Babes." BJ's face fell, to a stoic collection of small, straight lines. "Too many words in the middle there."

"Only if you promise not to wind him up, or be nasty."

"But babes..."

"At least for the first week. Once he's settled in, you can start picking on him again."

There was a long pause as they stared each other out, Lydia's eyes sparking defiantly, BJ's glinting with mania. Lydia raised one perfectly curved, black eyebrow, and watched with no small amount of smug joy as she saw him deflate under the pressure.

"Ok, ok, deal."

"Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice... Beetlejuice."

He let out a laugh, appearing in the middle of the room with a flash, before striking a more casual pose, hands deep in his pockets, glancing down at Lydia.

"You know, babes, that glare of yours... Sends chills down my spine. Eep!" He yelped, turning around to reveal a row of ice cubes down his back, making him shiver. She merely shook her head and giggled.

"Only you would go through years of corrective therapy to get that literal translation tick fixed, and then continue to do it anyway."

"Hey, what can I say? I like ticks."


	3. Chapter 3

Everything had been organised for Nurse Romano's birthday party. She was everyone's favourite nurse, and as such, the entire 90s ward banded together to organise something special for her. Well, almost. Gaston merely laughed and spurted something about "a woman's place" every time he was asked, so they all just stopped asking him. They had gotten the other nurses to keep her out of the ward all day, and had used their collective toon powers and talents to create posters, banners, streamers and balloons. There was cake and music ready to go, and they were preparing the last few details now.

"Everyone ready?" Yakko grinned to the assembled group.

"Five more minutes." Darkwing was stood at the door, on look-out. "Lydia and Beetlejuice are still in their therapy appointment. Yakko blinked. A thought struck him, and not for the first time.

"No, I'm here." Beetlejuice appeared in the middle of the TV room, making several group members jump. "Lyds has got her individual, though."

"Hey, Buster?" Yakko turned to the blue rabbit, who had returned with a couple of the ex-Tiny Toons cast members to wish their favourite nurse a happy birthday. The Tiny Toons kids had only been there three years before the Warners, but those three years were something, at least. He knew Lydia and Beej had entered the ward in '91, when their show ended, but aside from Gaston, all other toons from that year had left. "Has Lydia always attended counselling with Beetlejuice?"

"Yeah, as far as I can remember." The rabbit shrugged, handing out party poppers. "Why?"

"Don't you think it's weird how Lydia gets a one-on-one appointment and BJ doesn't?"

"Eh." The rabbit shrugged. "Maybe the psychiatrist is too scared of him."

"Yeah." Plucky barged through the conversation, carrying a tray of snacks to the table. "Who knows what's inside that ghostly head of his."

Buster and Plucky laughed, but Yakko wasn't so quick to dismiss it. Something was off...

"Alert! Alert!" Darkwing leapt away from the door, and everyone took their places, Lydia entering the room just in time for BJ to hide her. Nurse Romano's face, after they all surprised her, made the morning's work more than worthwhile, and the party went through the afternoon and into the evening.

"So you could have said, I odour one!" BJ grinned, and several on the toons listening burst into laughter. Lydia smiled. She'd heard the story before, but she loved hearing BJ tell it, because it made him so happy. The party was in full swing, and everyone was having a blast.

"Hey Beej, I'm just going to get some cake."

"Ok, babes." Beej didn't look away from the group of people that had gathered around. "Now, did I ever mention the time that me and the Thing From The Green Lagoon went mountaineering?"

Lydia shook her head, walking away from the group. She didn't believe any of his stories for a second. By now, she had realised that nine out of ten things that came out of his mouth were a complete fantasy, but she let him have them. It was... sort of charming, really. The way he would make up these hilarious, breathtaking stories, on the spot, and openly dare people to challenge him. It was a game. BJ saw a lot of things as a game.

"Hey." Yakko was stood by the snack table, watching his sibs create havoc on the dance floor. "Having fun?"

"It's a blast." She grinned, watching Nurse Romano get accosted by Ace and The Mask, attempting to keep a straight face as they clung to her ankles and wailed about how much she meant to them. "I'm so glad everyone's having a good time."

"Hey, Lyds? I've got to ask you something." Yakko moved in slightly closer and lowered his voice, having a feeling that what he was about to ask was probably somewhat personal. "How come you and Beej always have counselling together, but he gets left alone while you get a weekend pass?"

Lydia froze. She jumped into life, busying herself getting a plate of food and adamantly not meeting Yakko's eyes.

"Beej always messes up, so the nurses take away his weekend pass to punish him."

"Everyone gets a one-on-one session with a therapist except Beetlejuice." Yakko stepped closer, getting the intense impression that he was about to uncover something rather secretive. "Come on, Lydia, what's the deal? How come you get special treatment?" Lydia dropped her plate, giving him a glare that would make a sandworm stop and think about the consequences of its actions. Glancing around quickly, she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him further away from the TV room, where no one could hear them.

"You can't tell anyone." She said, her eyes stony cold, her voice low. "Not a soul."

"Ok... our secret, I promise."

"Beej... There's nothing wrong with his mind. Not... really. Nothing the doctors can cure."

"Right..."

"If he wants to get better, he has to cure himself." Lydia leant against the wall of the corridor, staring at the floor.

"Well..." Yakko lean next to her, watching her carefully. He hadn't noticed before, not really, how tired she looked. He wondered if being in this place was really doing her any good. "That's true for everyone, right?"

"Yes." Lydia sighed. "But I don't think Beej wants to cure himself." She let herself slip down onto the floor, her skinny legs crossing each other, her head resting against the wall, her eyes staring up at the ceiling and sparkling in the dim light. She still looked every part the young teenager she had been since 1991, apart from her eyes. Her eyes betrayed her wisdom. "When they shut down the show, they shut off most of the Neitherworld, too. It was owned by the execs, after all. All they left him was the roadhouse. It's not connected to anything or anyone. So when he goes into the mirror, he goes there. A four room roadhouse. That's all that's left of his home town."

"That's... really sad." Yakko mumbled, sitting next to her.

"He wants to stay here, with me. He'd never admit it, but that's what he wants, because then he can pretend nothing ever happened. That it's all the same as it was before we came in."

"So where do you factor in to it?" Yakko wasn't dumb. He'd suspected for a long time that Lydia didn't need this home; that she could leave whenever she wanted. He was amazed she'd needed it in the first place. The music from the TV room was muffled now, and what with the dim light and Lydia's watery eyes, Yakko was finding the situation uncomfortably dreamlike. It was almost as if they were underwater.

"The show was cancelled in ninety one. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life." An ironic, hollow smile laced her lips, as her big doe eyes continued to stare into the distance. "I came here with Beej. Had a half a year of counselling, did a couple of qualification courses... By ninety-four, I was discharged."

"Ninety four?" Yakko felt like half of his stomach had just disappeared. He didn't like where this was going, and he had a feeling he really shouldn't have poked his nose in. He didn't want to hear what he was sure was going to happen next, but he asked anyway. "Why... why are you still here?"

"You know why, Yakko." Her voice lost the dreamlike quality, and he could hear her choking back tears. "Can you imagine if I'd left him here? He'd go ape! They couldn't handle him! And I'm not going to see him in the psych ward; I can't let them do that to him!"

"So you gave up almost eight years of your life to keeping him out of trouble?" The bassy music pounded like someone punching through sheets of cotton wool. Yakko found his head spinning slightly. This wasn't right.

"I'm kind of his personal nurse now." Lydia closed her eyes, biting her lip as she struggled against the urge to cry. "And I want him to get better. I do. But I'm starting to think that he's not going to get better, whether I'm here for him or not." She took a long, deep, wavering breath, and Yakko put his arm around her, resting his head against hers. He wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure if there was anything he could say.

"You can't tell anyone." She whispered.

"Ok." He nodded, but something inside of him had switched away from the conversation. It was like someone had poured ice over the sympathy, and left him with the colder, harder thoughts. He had never fully trusted Beetlejuice. In their earlier years at the ward, there had been something of a never-ending prank war between him and the Warners, which had come to an amicable truce when both parties ended up hospitalised. They had been, if nothing else, neighbourly, but Yakko had never been able to take anything the ghost said or did at face value, using a lot of phrases like "No, I'm good, thanks" or "I don't think I will" before smiling and leaving. But he had a feeling that, if the ghost were to ask anything of him now, he wouldn't smile and make civil excuses. He wanted to hurt BJ in as many ways as possible. This was a new, shocking, unbearable level of selfishness; what kind of barbarian could turn their best friend into their slave and not see any difference? Yakko must have been tensing his grip, because Lydia looked up at him, face tear-stained and glowering.

"Not anyone, Yakko, I mean it."

Yakko got the point, the cold, calculating sadist of his brain backing off, returning behind his ice sheet. No attempts to avenge her honour. No rumours. Not even a well-intended chat. This never happened. He nodded, crossing his heart.

A muffled calypso beat danced its way through the walls and down the corridor to them.

"Babes!" BJ's voice could be heard in the distance. "Lyds, where are you? It's our song!"

Lydia wiped her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths and stood, smiling.

"Thank you." She turned, and hurried back into the TV room. Yakko stayed, staring at the floor, wondering whether he could honestly keep that promise.


	4. Chapter 4

Beej had finished his story, and turned to speak to Lydia, but then noticed she wasn't there. He flew up, looking around the room. He couldn't see her anywhere.

"If you're looking for your little filly..." An all too familiar voice, as thick and strong as the neck it came from, but at least twice as deep as the mind that fuelled it. "She left the room with that puppy boy."

"Get lost, frenchie." Beej barely glanced at Gaston, who was currently reclining in such a broad fashion that he had at least two seats of the three-seater to himself. He started, registering Gaston's words a little late. "What puppy boy?"

"What's his name...? Yakky. With the tail." He swept up four mini-sausage rolls in his gargantuan hands and ate them all in one go, before resuming with his mouth full. "She dragged him into the corridor, seemed quite urgent..." his eyes narrowed, checking that he had the ghost's full attention. Beetlejuice was still feigning a casual air, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, but the tenseness of his shoulders and the adamant way in which he was definitely not looking at Gaston implied that he most definitely was paying attention. A smug smile creeping across his muscular jaw, Gaston continued. "Urgent... and secretive."

"Ah, what do you know?" Beetlejuice shrugged him off, shaking his head. _Come on..._ He chided himself. _You're considering listening to Gaston, of all people?_

"I know that you've been here just as long as I have..." he swallowed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, before blowing a kiss to Pepper Ann, who sneered and continued on her way to the bathroom. "And you and she have yet to be anything more than friends."

"Hey, who says I want..."

"Oh please, BJ. My therapist tells me I'm severely emotionally stunted, and even I can see how much you want her." Beetlejuice slumped slightly, finding himself sitting on the other end of the couch, without knowing it. "It's 2011, my man. You came here in '91. Sure you're both ageless, but who's going to wait around for twenty years? Especially for such a... well, for you?" Gaston leant forward; his legs spread wide, his elbows on his knees. The man was repulsive, but everything he said hit home, right on one of BJ's few weak spots. "You're going about this all wrong. She won't pay attention to you because you're not strong enough any more. Look at you, "the ghost with the most" reduced to parlour tricks that any human magician could do? You need to show her who's in charge, my friend. Be powerful. Be a man. Don't let this namby-pamby "emotions" thing get to you."

"No... No." Beetlejuice stood, shaking his head. He couldn't think straight, everything was too loud. The lights started to flicker as he found it harder to get Gaston's words out of his mind. "You're wrong. Lyds doesn't want that..."

"Every woman wants that." Gaston stood, clapping the ghost on the shoulder. "Every woman wants a man; a real man, who can excite them."

"You're wrong."

"Fine." Gaston shrugged. "Don't take my advice. It's nothing to me if you and the queen of darkness never get together. Neither of you are exactly prize winners. I only said anything because she might have gotten tired of waiting. And if she's running off to have private chats with smart-mouthed flirts, well... Don't say I didn't warn you." Gaston walked away, leaving Beetlejuice wide eyed on the couch. The colour drained from him, pooling onto the floor. He sat very still for what felt like a very long time, the loud music buzzing around his head, images of Yakko and Lydia together, kissing, cuddling, laughing... laughing at him...

"Beej?" Doug's nasal voice cut through his thoughts, as he felt a light tapping on his shoulder. "Beej, are you ok?"

Beetlejuice smacked his lips once or twice, before regaining his colour and jumping to his feet. He snapped his fingers, and the speakers instantly switched to a Harry Belafonte mix. Everyone cheered, and he floated a foot or so into the air.

"Hey, nurse R; let's get some real partying going." He zapped a couple of toons, just enough to start them dancing, and plastered on a big fake grin. He was the ghost with the most, damn it, and it's time everyone remembered that. "Babes! Lyds, where are you? It's our song!"

After a moment, Lydia walked back into the room, laughing at the multicoloured flashing lights that didn't seem to have a definite source. He continued his fake smile as they danced together and took photos of everyone, even when Yakko re-entered the room, his face oddly serious. But the moment the party was over, and everyone retreated to their rooms, Beetlejuice went to his roadhouse and kicked the door shut. He swung the mirror so that it faced the wall, and used as much power as he could to destroy and replace as much as he could find. He was using muscles that had long been dormant, stretching his power and imagination. All the while, Gaston's words rolled around his head, accompanied by the mental image of Yakko and Lydia, laughing.

"Yakko?" Dot poked her head around his door, shifting awkwardly. She had never quite gotten used to the boys sleeping in a separate room from her, and still felt uncomfortable visiting their room.

"What's up?" Yakko was reclining on his bed, enjoying a quiet morning by re-reading Groucho Marx's biography for the third time. He would have been reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but he'd leant that to Sonic several months ago, and the toon was an ironically slow reader. He put the book down, folding over the corner of his page, noting that Dot was anxious as she approached him and hopped onto the bed, scooting up so she leant against the wall. She was wearing a large pink cardigan which came down to her knees, and a blue jean skirt that was a little longer. She curled up under her cardigan, looking like a tiny ball of fluff.

"In a couple of months, it'll be eigteen years since we were drawn." She looked up at him, her eyes uncharacteristically dull. "They never specified how old we were supposed to be. But I should be at least twnety by now. Maybe more." She leant into him, resting her head on his collarbone. He wrapped his arms around her. "I'm never going to be a teenager, am I? Not really."

"Dot..." Yakko started, shifting uneasily. He looked down at her and bit his lip, unsure of what to say. He had raised her, practically. They'd never been given any parents, or other relations. They weren't just siblings; they were the only creatures of their kind. Not quite inkblot, not quite anthropomorphised ... no one knew what they were, not even the Warners themselves. He held her tighter, resting his chin on her head. "If you were allowed to leave here, tomorrow, what would you do?"

"I don't know... jump for joy?"

"No, I mean... would you want to carry on your education? Go to high school? Would you want to get... edited?"

She looked at him, frowning. Physical Editing Surgical Treatment was not something to be considered lightly. There was a reason many of the toons who went through it were referred to as PESTs. "Yakko..."

"I'm just... I realise that I've never asked you or Wakko this kind of stuff before. Would you want to leave here? Go outside, grow up? Or just stay as kids forever?"

Dot thought, her face set in concentration, staring off into the distance. When she did speak, it was slow and deliberate, as though she were choosing each word carefully.

"I... don't think that the way we look will affect how we act. I don't want to be edited, not now, not personally. But I have a feeling that when I'm a little older, I might. I know I age, mentally, but not as fast as humans. I know that I'm a teenager in a kid's body, and I'm not sure that's best, but I'm ok with it. What worries me more is the idea that we're staying here because it's convenient, not because we need it."

Yakko blinked. He found himself chuckling, and hugging her tight.

"You're sharp, sis."

"And a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

"Yeah." He grinned, pulling apart so he could look her in the eye. "But then sometimes, a waist is a terrible thing to mind." So saying, he wiggled his eyebrows and began tickling her, making her squirm so much she nearly fell off the bed. It was at this point that Wakko entered the room, shooting them both confused looks, before ducking as Dot threw a pillow at him. Grinning, he took this as a cue to grab the pillow and leap onto the bed, before commencing to beat his brother with it.

Five minutes of pillow fights, bad puns and much tickling later, they were all lying, varying amounts of them still on the bed, exhausted.

"Hey, Wak?" Yakko wheezed, lifting his head off the floor and attempting to sit up so he could see over his feet, which were propped up on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah?" Wakko shuffled around so that he was facing Yakko, his head hanging off the edge of the bed.

"You ever think about growing up?" He lifted himself onto his elbows, and Dot rolled over so she was sitting upright. Both watched their brother carefully.

"No." Wakko closed his eyes, reaching his arms out so that he was touching the floor.

"If Dot's got a mental age of sixteen, you've got to have a mental age of... what, twenty?"

"Probably." Wakko shrugged. "But then we have pillow fights and stuff so I don't think we really are that old."

"But don't you ever think about all the stuff we could be doing?" Dot crawled over to him, kneeling by his side. "What about PESTing?"

"We're ageless. If we got edited, we'd be these minds in different bodies, and who knows how messed up that could get. Remember when they did that to the Rugrats? The Angelica scandal?" He rolled over onto his stomach, and kicked his legs into the air, putting himself into a handstand. "I wouldn't mind going through high school, or getting a job or whatever, but I don't see why we need to look different for that to happen." He continued to kick so that his feet touched the floor and he was now right way up. "Why d'you ask?"

"No reason." Yakko grinned, pulling himself to his feet and picking Dot up. They were more mature, slightly, yes. But his brother was right. They'd never really be grown up. And, looking at his siblings, he reasoned that he was ok with that. "Come on, let's go get some lunch."

The lunch hall was a long, square room, with long, metal tables and harsh halogen lights. Lunch was organised in sittings to minimise conflict between patients from different wards, so it was usually quite a laid-back ward when the nineties toons were eating. Ace and The Mask strutted along the queue, nonchalantly selecting their meals from the bored but kindly cafeteria workers, and continuing to find a space for their brown plastic trays.

"Oh, give it a rest, buddy." Ace sighed, sitting down heavily and prodding his lima beans with his fork. "And can you take that off? Maybe Ipkiss would talk sense."

"Oh, how flattering." The Mask sniffed, crunching salad leaves with his imposingly large teeth. "If you don't want my advice, don't ask for it."

"Hey, knock it off, y'old biddies." Beetlejuice snapped, sitting down several seats away. "If I have to sit next to you, I don't want to listen to your whining."

"Back off, pal, this is a private conversation." Ace sniffed, turning his back on the ghost.

"He's right, though, you do sound like something of an old maid." The mask leant over, grinning madly.

"Hey, whose side are you on?"

"I'm not taking sides, I'm just having fun." So saying, he swallowed several potatoes whole and continued to grin. He turned his grin on Beetlejuice, nonchalantly pointing a fork at him. "Hey beetleman, where's your better half? Scared off by that sour expression of yours, hmm?"

"Whut? No... how should I know?" Beej bristled, and began shoving food into his mouth, completely failing to act casually. "We're not joined at the hip, she can go do whatever. Maybe I like some alone time, you ever think of that?"

Ace and the Mask shared knowing, intolerably smug grins, before clearing their throats and trying very hard not to laugh.

"Oh sure." Ace's rubbery jaw twisted in an attempt to conceal a smile. "You're a bachelor, after all. Young and... free..."

"Of course he is!" the Mask chimed in, batting his eyelashes innocently. "If she needs you, she can always just... call you." He shot Ace a wink, as they both struggled to hold back laughter. "Which reminds me, I've been meaning to ask, what network are you on? You always seem to get such great coverage!" Unable to hold back, they fell into fits of laughter, slamming the table with their fists and gripping their sides. No response came from Beej.

They stopped laughing. This was... unprecedented.

They exchanged worried glances, before directing another onslaught at the ghost, who was staring straight at the table, toying absently with his fork.

"Hey buddy... do you get call waiting?"

"Ah, but what's in a name?"

"And I thought I was the ladies man... you're the one that has the girls calling out for you!"

"If she's sending you back, is it reverse charge?"

None of the quips were their best, but they usually played more for effect, and not getting any response at all from Beetlejuice was at first disheartening, but soon became downright worrying. No fire from the nostrils or smoke from the ears, no morphing into a giant dragon, no threats of vengeance... he just sat there, staring at the table, shoulders hunched, eyes weary.

"Beej? Beetlejuice?"

"Whut? Oh... yeah. Very funny, guys. Good to know how you really feel." To call the response half-hearted would be overstating the energy put in. The ghost stood, leaving his tray on the table, hands deep in his pockets, and began to float away.

"Beej? Hey, come on, man, we were just joking! Sheesh, you'd think you'd have a sense of humour!"

"What does he have the most of, anyway?" The Mask muttered, just loud enough for Beej to hear. "If you ask me, he's been here too long. Whatever he had, he's lost it now."

Beetlejuice froze.

"Including his chance with you-know-who?" Ace snickered.

That'll do it.

It was like a touch-paper had been lit in Beetlejuice's eyes. The nurses, foolishly, were all sat over at one table. There were, at most, twelve other cartoons in the room with them. It would be so easy.

Their snickers ran through his mind, pushing the buttons and revving the engine. Deep within him, he could feel doors open that had been shut for a long time. He'd been kid-friendly for too long. He'd let Lydia reign him in, control what he did, how he did it... because he wanted to see her happy. But no one was impressed by the puppy-dog act he'd been forced into, and it was time for him to remind everyone who the big cheese really was.

The stripes of his wet purple tongue slid over his dry, expectant lips, before retreating back behind his rotten grey-green teeth. His lips formed the words that were so familiar, yet so foreign.

"It's showtime."

"Huh? Beej, did you say something?"

"No, no." Beej spun on his heel, a wicked, malicious glint in his eye. "Just observing how much you guys love to... yak." So saying, he drifted up into the air as a herd of hairy_ Bos Grunniens_ bovines appeared in the hall, and promptly stampeded over the two toons, before disappearing again. Before the nurses could react, Beetlejuice had brought their table to life and had it buck and rear until the nurses had all fallen. The long table-monster sprouted fangs and eyes, and pressed them up against the wall, snarling at any who dared to make their way through. Ace and The Mask were stunned. They could take a little toon violence, sure, but they were unprepared. That was the one unquestionable rule of the Home; you do not, ever, use your powers on other toons, unless they have been given fair warning and are in a safe, supervised combat zone. Beej grinned manically as the other toons in the room scattered, screaming for the doors. _Access denied,_ he thought, as he barricaded them in.

"Hey, not cool, man!" Ace threw his sunglasses at Beetlejuice, not endowed with the power to do much else. "If you're picking a fight, come down here and fight like a real toon!"

Beetlejuice stuck his tongue out, drifting higher up, stretching out his arms.

"You kidding? I'm just getting warmed up, know whut I mean?" He pointed at the table, and it proceeded to heat to such a level that I quickly turned red, and then white. Ace and The Mask backed away, towards the other toons.

"Ha... buddy, you wanna maybe, I don't know, _**do something?**_" Ace's eyes had grown wide, unable to look away from Beetlejuice's hysterical form, shaking with laughter.

"Sorry pal, I guess I'm a little rusty..." The Mask wiggled his fingers, accompanied by a faint squeaking sound. He gulped. "Wow, I can't even manage rust... that is awkward."

"Hey!" Yakko pushed through the crowd, his siblings huddled behind him. "What the hell did you guys do to get him this mad?"

"I don't know, he just... snapped." Ace dragged his eyes away, looking down at the new arrival. "What are we going to do?"

"We're going to stop him." Yakko stated, gripping Dot's hand tightly. "Right?"

"Right." Dot and Wakko nodded, looking around.

"I can get under the door, with a little help." Wakko hopped up and down, as the table finally reached breaking point and burst into flame.

"Right." Yakko looked around. "Wakko and Mask can get through the door, one of you can go and find Lydia, the other can try and get people out. Ace, you go and help the nurses while I distract him."

"Me too!" Dot held up her hand, glaring defiantly at Yakko. Yakko opened his mouth to argue, but Dot notched up her glare resolution a few levels, and he knew he had no time to argue.

"Fine. Come on."


	5. Chapter 5

Lydia was the only one who could send him back. For some reason, he would only go back to the Roadhouse if she said the words. And, unfortunately for the trapped Toons, she wasn't here. Yakko blanched slightly beneath his fur as the deranged ghost cackled and flung chairs and tables around the room. Wakko and The Mask had gone to try and break through the door, and Ace had begun to sneak across the room to the nurses, leaving Yakko and Dot at the forefront of the group of cowering toons, not sure quite how to take on their deranged adversary. As Beetlejuice spun and kicked in the air, howling with laughter, sending furniture and cutlery flying in small tornados, Yakko found some odd sympathy for the toon, lurking behind abject fear and horror.

"Yakko?" He looked behind him. Darkwing Duck had pushed his way through the crowd, and was glaring at Beetlejuice. "I'd like to help, if I may."

"Darkwing..."

"I know now is hardly the time for puns, my boy, but I'm no spring chicken. Beetlejuice isn't the only one who can relive the glory days." So saying, he donned his signature hat. "If I may, I'd like to at least have the honour of saying I tried to do something."

"Thank you, Darkwing." Dot smiled, squeezing Yakko's hand. Yakko squeezed back.

"Well then. Let's get dangerous."

It would not be remembered as the most original of challenges. Not even the most well executed, or the most defiant. But Yakko would later admit he got a small thrill from throwing the first pie. It hit Beetlejuice square on the back of the head, matting in his straw-like hair and propelling him forward at such force that he flipped, mid-air. When he turned on the Warners, there was a horrid fire in his yellow eyes; a burning, savage snarl like a hungry lion, desperate for the kill.

"You shouldn't be doing this, Beej." Yakko dusted off his hands, glaring up at the floating toon.

"At least come down here and fight fair!" Dot stood, her bravery belied only by her shaking fists.

"And what are you gonna do about it, Dottie?" Beetlejuice laughed back, lassoing her with a rope of white lightning and dragging her through the air so that they were nose to nose. He grinned at her, the grin a cat would give a rather unfortunate mouse, or the grin a supervisor might give the intern that got their coffee order wrong. Dot returned the smile with an almost apologetic sigh, staring him straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Beej. I didn't want to hurt you. But then, I've told you before about calling me Dottie." So saying, she pulled a mallet from behind her back (a trick she hadn't performed for over eight years) and knocked him down to the floor. He could take it, she knew that much, but she felt bad for doing it. His lightning rope was severed the moment her mallet made contact, but Yakko was ready to catch her as she fell. Beej, conversely, fell to the floor with a sickening thud. However, the toons knew that it wouldn't stop him, and it was but an instant before he was standing, smoke pouring from his nostrils, scales rippling down his back, flames burning in his eyes, growing taller as he loomed over the Warners.

"Big mistake."

Wakko and The Mask had thrown all they had at the door, but it wouldn't budge. They stared at the few millimetres opening underneath the door, wondering if either of them could change shape to fit through.

"We've got to do something..." Wakko cast around, trying to find inspiration. It was at that point that Beej fell to the ground and, just as his lightning rope had disappeared, so too, momentarily, did the block on the door. That moment was all The Mask needed to ram his foot between the door and the jamb, pushing himself in the gap and fighting against the force of a door that very much wanted to be closed.

"Wakko..." He wheezed, under the pressure. "Go find Lydia!" Not needing to be told twice, Wakko managed to squeeze through the minimal gap and ran as fast as he could to the ward.

Ace managed to get across the room, and was confronted with the gnashing, furious face of the table monster as he tried to get to the nurses.

"Uh... good... table... thing. Nice table." He hadn't done the animal charmer act in years, and he was pretty sure he'd never had to use it on furniture before now. The snarling fangs and glaring eyes told him he at least had its' attention. He held is hands up and stepped back slightly. The monster advanced on him. He glanced past it to the nurses. It wasn't a good plan, he admitted, but it was a plan, and that was all he had right now. He wasn't blessed with crazy physics-defying skills, but he could certainly run.

It was pies, flames, mallets and gas guns everywhere. Beetlejuice merely stomped and roared, his massive, dragon-like form emitting flames and smoke as the Warners and Darkwing ran around, hoping more to wear him out or confuse him than anything.

"Why are you doing this, Beej?" Yakko yelled, climbing up his scaly back to grip him round the neck. "What's it going to prove?"

"It proves, pipsqueak, that I am still the ghost with the most! And boy, does it feel... grate!" The ghost snorted, quickly changing shape into sharp, serrated metal. Yakko leapt away from the blades, but was now hanging on to the edge of the Beetle-grater, staring down at the floor some ten feet below him. "I haven't felt this un-dead in years! And look at them all, cowering..." Another hoarse, hysterical cackle ripped through the ghost, shaking Yakko loose. With a short scream, Yakko plummeted, bouncing off of Darkwing's outstretched cape to land between the Duck and Dot. They stared up at the manic ghost, who was now shooting around the room like a firecracker, rebounding against the walls. "I feel fantastic! I'm unbeatable! I'm unstoppable! It's just like Gaston said. How do you like me now, world?"

"Beetlejuice!" Wakko and Lydia burst into the room, causing The Mask to fall exhausted on the floor. Lydia's face was flushed, and wet with tears. Wakko ran straight to his siblings, concerned. "What... What are you doing?"

"I'm doing what I was meant to do, babes!" Beetlejuice leered down at her, swooping down to floor level and coiling himself around her like a snake. "I'm being a real ghost. Admit it, you think it's impressive, huh?"

"No, I don't!" She pushed him off, recoiling. "I hate it! Look at what you've done to everyone!"

"Why should I care about them?" Beetlejuice hissed, his body reforming, his eyes turning to slits, his long tongue darting as he slid across the floor. "Just admit that I'm better this way, babes. The way I'm supposed to be."

"Gaston?" Yakko's voice was shaky, as he staggered to his feet. "Gaston told you this would be a good idea?" The snake turned his eyes on Yakko, just in time to see the toon leap onto him, and feel the angry blows against his skin. "Why the hell would you listen to that creep? How desperate do you have to be, how... weak do you have to be, to listen to someone so vain and selfish?"

Beetlejuice coiled, throwing Yakko to the floor and then wrapping himself around, crushing and hissing. Yakko scratched and bit, not to be deterred.

"That's what you are, isn't it? Selfish! After all the things Lydia's done for you!"

"Yakko!" Lydia was crying, but all that either toon could do was glare into each other's eyes. With strength he didn't know he had, Yakko pushed the coils away, before his fist collided with the side of Beetlejuice's head. "All that she's done for you! You think she doesn't love you, but that's just because you're too damn selfish to see what's right there in front of you!"

"Yakko!" Lydia was pleading and insistent, but he couldn't heed her. The detached, cold fury had descended on him again as he pressed Beetlejuice's head into the floor, his own eyes beginning to glint with the same malice as Beej's had.

"Yakko..." Dot and Wakko were scared, and he could feel the normal him struggling to rise through the fog of anger. But that just aggravated him further, delighting as Beetlejuice struggled back.

"What do you know, boy?"

"I know that she's only here because of you! She doesn't have to be here, but she stayed so you wouldn't get thrown to the psych ward!"

"Yakko!" Lydia gasped, and suddenly he felt hands dragging him to the floor. Beetlejuice and Yakko both sprung to their feet, ready to fight more, but found Lydia standing between them. "Enough!" She screamed, loud enough to silence the whole room, and instantly quell any idea the guys had of fighting.

"I can't believe you." She stated, keeping her arms outstretched, so that they had to stand apart. "Either of you. Yakko, that you would betray my trust like that. I told you in confidence. And you, Beetlejuice..." Her shoulders were shaking, and she was staring resolutely at the far wall. Fragments of dust, ash and plaster were still falling to the floor, drifting down in the palpable silence. "I can't even look at you right now. I don't want to talk to you. Any of you!"

"But... babes, I didn't..."

"I said..." She caught herself, realising she was shouting, and managing to take a breath. Her voice was a deathly whisper, as she fought back tears. "I said I can't talk to you. Please, just... sort out the mess you've made on your own. I don't want to see you."

And with that, she left, with shocked, empty silence crashing in her wake.


	6. Chapter 6

With the nurses' strength combined, they finally managed to subdue the table monster that was chasing Ace around the cafeteria and Beetlejuice humbly switched it back to normal. With a click of his fingers, the lunch hall was fully repaired and looked as good as new. No one thanked him. He didn't expect them to. He cleared his throat, and held his hands up in the air.

"I'm sorry, guys. I... I went a bit old school on you there, huh? Uh... I guess I messed up. My bad." And, with a wheezing, half-hearted chuckle, he was gone. This put everyone on edge again, but more worried for him now, than worried because of him. Beetlejuice wasn't the apologetic type. But those who knew him could see, in his dull, unfocused gaze, and the way he bit his lip, exactly why he apologised. Lydia was mad at him, madder than she'd ever been before. He may have been the Ghost with The Most, but all it took was for Lydia to roll her eyes, and he'd be instantly powerless. Such was his desire to see her happy. They'd argued, sure, and fallen out, but this was bad. No childish "I won't speak to you until you apologise", or "I can't believe you, this is so unfair". She had, in a quiet, tear-choked whisper, told him that she couldn't even look at him. That would have been enough to break his heart.

Of course, there was little sympathy for the ghost, at first. He was treated with the same indifference as Gaston, although both were now far less trusted. Lydia refused to speak to him, and would only give Yakko curt responses, even after he'd apologised. She spent more and more time talking to doctors and nurses, and less time on the ward. Without Lydia to say his name, Beetlejuice couldn't go back to the Roadhouse, and so he had no option but to stay and deal with the consequences of his actions. Which he did. With slumped shoulders, a glum frown, and the look of a man who had lost his only friend in the world, he went along with the Nurses' punishments and reprimands, with no resistance. After he had been made to clean up, and apologise to everyone involved in the incident, without so much as a smart quip or backhanded compliment, the nurses began to worry. He didn't sleep that night, instead sitting in the TV room, against the wall, staring at the floor. The toons avoided him, at first, thinking it was some ploy or trick. But he barely moved at all. When he did, it was only to report to his counselling sessions. He was a toon, he had less need for food or hygiene than a human, and so he sat in his spot, staring at the floor, only looking up on the rare occasions Lydia walked by. She walked too fast to hear his apologies.

Dot was the first to break his self-inflicted exile. It was three days since he had first sat in his spot, and everyone was starting to get worried. There were whispers and rumours flying around the ward; if Beej wasn't careful, the Nurses might have to send him to the psych ward. A violent outburst followed by severe anti-social behaviour is not the best way to prove you're healthy and recuperated, after all.

"Poor guy." Yakko sighed, setting aside his newspaper. "Maybe he wants to get bumped."

"No one wants to get bumped." Wakko shook his head.

"He's certainly acting like he has nothing left to live for." Yakko stared over at Beetlejuice's hunched form. "Poor guy."

Dot merely frowned. "That's it? Just "poor guy" and then back to your newspaper?" She glared, hopping down from the couch. "We can't just let him waste away, we have to do something."

"Like what?" Wakko continued to stare at Beetlejuice. "He won't talk to anyone, he won't move."

Dot opened her mouth to respond, but thought better of it. She walked over to him, standing a foot or so away, just looking at him. He didn't acknowledge her presence. She stood next to him, leaning against the wall. He didn't move. She sat down on the floor, resting her head against his arm. He tensed, momentarily, before relaxing, and sighing. He was still hunched and crumpled, but she could tell he was glad of the company.

"You shouldn't sit there." He whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. "People'll think you're a sympathiser."

"I am." Dot whispered back, resting her hand on his arm. "We're worried about you, Beej."

She continued to sit next to him for the rest of the day, moving only to get food and water, all of which she took back with her, offering to share with him. He didn't move, let alone speak, so she continued to eat and drink, not speaking unless it was necessary. Her brothers watched from the couch. It was nothing new, but it still amazed them that she could do this. Maybe it was a girl thing. Maybe it was some power of empathy. Maybe it was her innate cuteness, but Dot could somehow assess every facet of someone's personality, and know exactly how to make or break them. It was like a subversive superpower, which Yakko and Wakko couldn't help but marvel at.

So she sat there, politely waving away anyone who asked if she wanted anything, even her own brothers when they suggested she got some sleep. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow at her, but otherwise didn't move. After a while, the nurses suggested she went to bed, but she smiled and said she was fine, thank you very much, and she hoped they had a pleasant evening. Beetlejuice watched her out of the corner of his eye, not sure that she should stay up so late. She knew he was looking at her, but didn't say anything. She just rested her head against his arm. Eventually, she couldn't stay awake any longer, and when Beetlejuice next glanced down at her, she had fallen asleep. Beetlejuice gently pulled his arm free of her grip, and pointed at her, levitating her over to the couch, and resting the throw over her like a blanket.

"Thanks, toots." He whispered, before resuming his hunched pose.

The next morning, Yakko came out to the TV room, and saw Dot sleeping on the couch. He raised an eyebrow at Beetlejuice, who was still staring at the floor. Wordlessly, Yakko walked over and carefully lifted his sister up, carrying her through to her room. When he returned, Beetlejuice hadn't moved.

"She cares about you, Beej." Yakko spoke from the doorway, hoping the toon would at least look up. "We all do. You can pretend you're some big bad poltergeist, but we all know, deep down, you care."

Beetlejuice said nothing, but one of his fingers twitched. Yakko sighed, sitting down on the couch, and picking up today's newspaper.

"Happy Wednesday, Beej."

At nine, every Wednesday, Yakko and his siblings went to breakfast in the lunch hall. On this day, however, Dot was still catching up on sleep, so Yakko and Wakko went alone.

At ten, the movie adaptations were called for group therapy. It took ten minutes for Beetlejuice to drag himself to his feet, before he slowly floated down the corridor, arms drooping by his side. Dot remained seated.

Ten thirty came and went, and instead of its' usual explosive disbanding, group therapy continued. At the end of the session, at eleven, Ace and The Mask left the room, eyes wide and shoulders tense. The other movie adaptations filtered out. Beetlejuice was not with them.

"Guys?" Dot, sensing something was wrong, ran over to them. "Where's BJ?"

"He... uh... He's talking to the doctors." Ace blinked, biting his lip.

"Oh no..." Dot gasped.

"They're not bumping him or anything..." Ace hurried, holding his hands up. "Well, not yet."

"It's about Lydia." The Mask sighed, looking oddly solemn. "She left."

"What do you mean she left?" Yakko blurted out, perhaps slightly louder than he should have, as everyone in the room gasped and turned to look at them.

"Without saying goodbye?" Wakko blinked. He stared down at the floor and began blinking more rapidly, his hands balling into fists. Yakko, seeing the warning signs, rested his hands on his brother's shoulders, soothing him.

"Is she coming back any time soon?"

"They didn't say." The Mask shrugged. "They just told us she'd left the home."

"Poor Beej..." Dot gasped, tugging at Yakko's arm and pointing as Beetlejuice walked into the TV room, his eyes wide and brow furrowed. Dot approached him warily.

"Beej?"

"I... Lydia..."

"We heard." Yakko chipped in, giving him a weak smile. "It'll be ok, Beej."

"But... Lyds has always been there. We were drawn for each other. I... even when she was mad before, she was still there... I... I don't know what to do..."

"Aw, come on!" Dot smiled. "You're the ghost with the most! You can take care of yourself, right?"

"Huh... Yeah, yeah..." Beej walked back over to his spot against the wall, standing and leaning his forehead against it. "I can do pretty much anything I want. It's my thing. But... I dunno, if Lydia's gone, it just seems... you know?" He looked around the room, noting that everyone was staring at him like he was about to explode. He sighed. "Forget it." He mumbled, fading into the air. He couldn't go back to the Neitherworld. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to make himself invisible. So he did.


	7. Chapter 7

Invisi-Beej became a sort of spectre. The whole incident was upsetting, to everyone involved, and the fact that Beej had made himself invisible caused worry upon worry. No one knew where he was, or how he was, and everyone took to directing any questions or conversation topics to the room in general, in the hopes of tempting him out, or at least gaining a response. Well, almost everyone.

Gaston, who was being snubbed by everyone, continued to act in blind arrogance. He strutted, he sneered, he sprawled, and he generally annoyed everyone. Two days after Beej had disappeared, Yakko couldn't take any more.

"Hey, Gaston, do me a favour?" Yakko was sitting across the TV room from Gaston, who had taken up the majority of the couch and was laughing obnoxiously at the TV.

"What is it, you odd puppy-boy?"

"Shut the hell up; you're giving me a headache."

Gaston sneered.

"You should know how to speak to your elders and betters, boy."

"Oh, I do." Yakko folded his newspaper and set it down on the table, exchanging smirks with the board gamers. "You're just not one of them."

"Insolent child!" Gaston stood, looking outraged. "How dare you speak to me like that?"

"Quite easily." Yakko shrugged, reclining further in his chair, his casual pose somehow more challenging than if he'd attempted to fight. "It's not very difficult when you believe the person you're speaking to is a complete moron."

Gaston stepped towards Yakko, already raising his hand, before stopping himself. He looked over his shoulder, to where the nurses were watching them.

"I see." He nodded, glaring at Yakko. "You think that if you can provoke me to violence, I can be punished, to make up for my horrible crime of inciting the Ghost, is that it?"

Yakko merely smirked. Gaston ran a hand over his jaw, before slamming his fist onto the board gamer's table, making everyone flinch. He leant in close to Yakko's face, so much that their noses were almost touching. Yakko, not to be outdone, matched Gaston's scowl right down to the twitching eyebrow. Gaston spoke in a low growl

"You want to blame me for what that ghost did, fine. But all I said was that Lydia needed to know he was a real man, an independent man. It's nothing to do with me if he took that to mean that he should ignite half the lunch hall. All I did was point out that, if he didn't do something, they'd stay in this stagnant little rut forever. At no point did I promise him a happy ever after. Besides..." He stood up again, shooting one more sneering look at Yakko. "If what I hear is true, you're the one that undermined her authority and upset her."

"I..." Yakko leapt to his feet, before realising he didn't have much of a defence. Maybe Gaston was right. He had blurted out her secret. Maybe he had broken up the team. Gaston, knowing by Yakko's hesitation that he had won the argument, turned to leave. His exit, however, was ruined by his tripping over a black and white roller-skate that no one had noticed before. He hobbled off to the nurses, clutching his bleeding nose, not wanting to admit defeat. Yakko, smiling a little, picked up the roller-skate and set it down on the coffee table, sitting himself down on the couch.

"So you're still around. That's good to know. We were getting worried." The roller-skate didn't move, but Yakko knew the ghost was willing to listen; otherwise he would have just disappeared again. "I'm sorry, Beej. I yelled at you, and blurted out the one thing Lydia had promised me to keep secret. I..." He felt very awkward, partly because he was admitting the feelings he'd been sitting on for a week or so now, and partly because he was talking to a roller-skate. "I kinda feel responsible."

The roller-skate continued to say nothing.

"I shouldn't have intervened; it was none of my business. I'm sorry. If you want to hate me, if you want to be mad at me, then that's fine, but please stop worrying everyone with this silent act."

The roller-skate tumbled off of the table, and rolled under the couch. Yakko took that to mean the conversation was over. Sighing, he reclined on the couch, covering his eyes with his hands. The, he sat bolt upright as he heard a familiar, gravelly voice in his ear.

"You know, we can't have both of us pity-partying. Darkwing'll start getting jealous, know what I mean?"

Yakko looked around, but couldn't see the ghost anywhere.

"Just you and me, pal. I can be selective when I want to. Let's go for a walk."

Yakko nodded, before standing and leaving the ward. Beetlejuice wasn't strictly supposed to leave the ward, after the incident, but Yakko knew the ghost wouldn't do any harm.

"I don't hate you." The ghost sighed, as soon as they got into the corridor. "I don't like you. But you've got to be pretty sad about Lydia leaving too, right?"

"Well... sure." Yakko mumbled, trying to make it look like he wasn't talking to thin air. "She's my friend."

"Yeah..." The ghost sniffed. "Friend. Right." Yakko stopped, suddenly, and cast around the space, wishing he could look the ghost right in the eye.

"Beej... there's nothing going on with me and Lydia. Never has been, never will be."

"Seriously? If you ever hit puberty, we could call you a ladies' man. And you're saying you don't have a thing for Lyds?"

"No. I mean... I might have, when we first came here, but she's..." Yakko searched for the right words. "She's not really my type."

"So even if she asked you, you'd turn her down?"

"I think so, yeah." Yakko shrugged. "I mean, I'd be nice about it, but, eh... she just doesn't do it for me."

There was silence. Eventually, he heard Beej sigh.

"Little comfort, too late. Do you think she's ever coming back?"

Yakko shoved his hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped.

"I don't know, Beej. I barely know what I'm doing, these days."

The ghost fell silent again, as they continued walking. Or at least, Yakko presumed the ghost was still with him. After a while, he spoke again.

"Yakk, can I suggest something?"

"Sure."

"Your brother and sister are both intelligent, skilled 'Toons. Don't keep them here forever. If they want to go and get jobs, or have a life, don't stop them."

"Beej..."

"You shouldn't even be here. You know you could go out and do whatever you wanted, if you had the strength for it. Just, trust me on this one, bub. There's nothing worse than feeling like you've been stood in someone's way."

"Beetlejuice..." But, with a whisper and a sigh, Yakko had a feeling the ghost had left him. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. Man, he hated it when Beej was right. Yakko checked his watch briefly, and realised that Doctor Grayne would still be in her office. He stood for a moment, weighing up his options. His tail flicked from side to side, the only part of him that betrayed his agitation. Within a moment, he had made up his mind. He spun around and walked back to the ward. Running over to the window, he looked down at Pinky and the Brain, who were running their daily security checks.

"Hey, Brain?"

"Ah... good day, Yakko. How can I help you?"

"I was wondering what you know about Toon Town's foster care legislature?"


	8. Chapter 8

Patient Name: "Beetlejuice"

Patient Number: 197665

Date of cancellation: December, 1991

Date of entry to institution: January, 1992

Doctor's Notes:

Patient has had a turbulent history, to say the least. Recent events, including a separation with long-time friend and companion Lydia Deetz have caused much concern. However, the patient is moving through the stages of coping (although in a rather unique way) and seems to be reaching acceptance. His mood has shown marked improvement, as has his interaction with other patients...

Doctor Grayne looked over the top of her clipboard at Beetlejuice. He looked back at her, a slight scowl on his lips.

"Do I really have to do this?"

"No." Doctor Grayne shrugged. "But I think it would help you if you did."

Beetlejuice sighed. He had resumed visibility, at least, and was now almost back to his old self. He was still hurting, anyone could see that, and still sorry. But his return to the land of the living, so to speak, had eased some of the tension off of the ward and brought about a sense of ease. As such, Beej felt somewhat more duty bound to play by the rules, even if he acted like he had a bad attitude.

"Fine." He growled, crossing his legs and not looking at the doctor. "But I don't have to like it."

"Agreed." Grayne nodded, flipping over a piece of paper on her clipboard and clicking the end of her pen smartly. "So who should we thank?"

"Lydia." This answer was not surprising, nor was the blunt tone with which it was delivered. "Maybe if I'd thanked her more, she wouldn't have gotten pissed off. Is that what you want to hear?"

Doctor Grayne paused for a moment, raising an eyebrow.

"No. Tell me something more meaningful. Surprise me."

Beej gave her a glare of grudging respect. Over the years, Grayne had learned the best way to deal with Beetlejuice was the no-nonsense approach. He shifted in his chair, staring out of the window, thoughtfully.

"Dot. And the boys. All the Warners, but Dot especially." Beetlejuice spoke slowly, as if picking each word deliberately.

"Why?"

"They all helped me, and they've helped me before. They're good kids, and she knows how to treat people. Clever, you know. Smart."

"Who else?"

"The rest of the ward I guess. For putting up with me, know what I mean?"

"Anyone else?"

"You, the nurses, the other doctors..."

"Again, for putting up with you?"

"Yeah..." He sighed. "That, and not giving up on me. Letting me stay here and not bumping me to Psych. And... Lydia." He was much more earnest this time, his eyes gaining a dull, far-away shine as he bit his lip. "She's done a lot for me... too much. I screwed up, and I know I screwed up. I just wish..." He caught himself, cutting his eyes to the doctor as she watched him, intently. He looked at the clock, before standing and walking to the door. "Well, no point crying over spoiled milk, as the saying goes."

"I believe it's "spilled", Beetlejuice."

"I prefer mine spoiled." He winked, leaving. Grayne raised her eyebrows, before returning to her notes.

"_Patient has yet again begun masking emotional vulnerability with attempts at humour. I believe his recovery to be right on track."_

The TV room was crowded. Yakko smiled, hugging his sister tight to him as they watched the weekly movie. With him on the couch, Dot on his lap and Wakko to his side, they took up half the couch. With Pinky and the Brain on the arm of the couch, Darkwing (who was now insisting everyone call him "Drake", inspired by the recent changes in the ward) and Pepper Ann taking up the other side of the couch, and Doug, Sonic, Tails, Ace and the Mask seated around and in front of the TV, they were enjoying a private cinema. Beetlejuice floated behind the couch, laying down on the air and watching over Yakko's shoulder.

"Man, they don't make films like this anymore."

"I know." Pepper Ann sighed, curling one leg up underneath her. "I swear; TV's gotten worse since we got cancelled."

"You know what I blame?" Sonic sighed, not taking his eyes off the TV. "Anime."

There was a pause.

"Is that racist?" Doug mused, his brow furrowed. "I can't tell for certain."

"I think it is..." Ace nodded. Sonic punched him in the arm, throwing the group into a light-hearted argument.

"Beetlejuice." Nurse Romano poked her head into the TV room, beaming widely. "You've got a visitor."

"Who?" He didn't take his eyes off the TV screen. "Can it wait? We're just getting to the good bit."

"Oh, I think you'll want to see her." Nurse Romano smiled again, stepping aside and letting a young woman through.

The young woman looked to be in her early or mid twenties, with pale skin and dark eyes. Her long, black hair hung down her back, and her body was slender and toned, clad in reds and blacks. She smiled nervously, not quite meeting Beetlejuice's startled gaze.

"Lydia?"

"Hey... Beej."

Beetlejuice fell to the floor with a bump, before staggering to his feet and approaching Lydia carefully.

No one was watching the TV now.

"Lyds, babes..." Beetlejuice cleared his throat, unable to speak above a whisper. "You... you got..."

"I got Editing Treatment, Beej." Her voice wavered with emotion as she spoke. Her tone was a firm one that suggested she'd rehearsed this speech a few times before. "I... I did this for me, because I feel I need to be an adult before I can fully take myself seriously. And, I know you're going to say I was fine the way I was before, but I didn't feel fine, and I didn't do this for you." He tried to respond, but she closed her eyes and held up a hand to silence him. Tears began to leak through her eyelids. "Now, I want to say that this last week has been hell for me. I can't stand being away from you, Beej, I just can't. But I've had just as much to go through here as you have, and I know now that... if you can't appreciate that, then there's no reason I should be with you. So... I..." She trailed off, pressing her fingers to her lips and blinking back tears.

Beetlejuice cast a glance back over his shoulder, to see the group of expectant faces grinning and egging him on. He flushed with embarrassment, and growled at them. They were not perturbed. He turned back to Lydia, trying to ignore the fact that he could almost physically see his reputation crumbling around him.

"Babes... Lydia... I, uh... Look, you know I'm no good at the emotional stuff, but... well... I can't do anything without you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I took you for granted, and that was wrong of me. And... fair enough; you got yourself edited, and no one can tell you how to live your life. I can deal with that." He gripped Lydia's hands, smiling as he felt a tingle of excitement run down his spine. She gazed up into his eyes (she now stood only a little shorter than him) and found herself returning the smile.

"But you know what? I'm looking into those big old eyes of yours, and I'm seeing that you're exactly the same, Lydia. You're still the warm, considerate, beautiful girl I've known all these years. You're still my best friend. If you'll have me."

"Beej..." She laughed, her voice choked with tears. "I want to be much more than friends." She hugged him, throwing her arms around his neck and beaming as he gripped her, one hand on her back and the other around her waist.

From the couch, the group emitted a distinct "aww", followed by one or two shouts of "kiss her, you dope" and bouts of laughter. Lydia broke away, smiling shyly, as if noticing the group for the first time. Beetlejuice kept hold of her hand. He grinned at her, his familiar goofy grin, and she giggled, before obliging the calls of the group and pulling Beetlejuice into a kiss.

The catcalls and whoops were riotous, and the film played on, forgotten.

There is a building just outside of Burbank, L.A.

Well, to be pedantic, there are many, but this particular one was special. It lay just outside the town, through the bridge that led to Toon Town. No-one was really sure how or why it came about any more, but it was generally accepted that it had been there since the 50s.

The building, that is. Toon Town's development is an entirely different story.

But regardless; the building sat, square and wide, with clean grey-brown brick and a garden quad in the middle. The gleaming brass plaque outside identified it simply as the "Valiant and Rabbit Recuperative Home for Disenfranchised Toons", and it was by this plaque that Beetlejuice and Lydia stood, carrying a few suitcases, with a few others floating behind them courtesy of Beej's powers. They stood on the sidewalk, waving up to the assembled toons who were hanging out of windows to bid them a farewell, before linking arms, kissing once more, and strolling off into Toon Town, to find themselves a life.

Inside the 90s ward, everyone felt oddly sad. They were delighted to see Lydia and Beetlejuice finally work through their problems and move out into the world, but they were heartbroken to see their friends go. Drake, as he now called himself, was on the road to recovery and seemed to have put his Darkwing days behind him. Ace and The Mask seemed to have solved a lot of their temper issues, and Doug and Pepper Ann were both looking at finishing high school and maybe applying to college. The 90s, it seemed, were finally coming to an end, and it only took them until 2011 to cope with it.

Yakko turned t his siblings, grinning broadly.

"Hey, sibs." He picked Dot up, swinging her into a piggy-back, and let Wakko grab hold of his tail, dragging him across the waxed linoleum floor. "You ever think about moving out of here?"

"Yeah..." Dot giggled, hugging her brother's neck. "Why?"

"Well, I've been doing a little research, and it turns out that, as long as I can get the doctors to sign off on a bill of mental health, I could hypothetically adopt the two of you. We could live on our own. Hypothetically, of course."

Wakko let go of his brother's tail out of shock, spinning and tumbling across the floor.

"Really?"

"But what about money?"

"We've got some left from the show." Yakko shrugged. "We could use that, and then teach kids toon skills. Or write for the studios or something. We're young, we're free, and we'll figure something out." Yakko grinned, putting Dot on the floor as he helped Wakko to his feet. "What do you say?"

Dot and Wakko exchanged glances, looking a little worried. Eventually, they laughed, hugging Yakko tight. They didn't need words. Still laughing, they linked hands and ran to see Doctor Grayne about Yakko's bill of mental health.

There is a building just outside of Burbank, L.A...

Well, to be pedantic, there are many, but this particular one is special. It lies just outside the town, through the bridge that leads to Toon Town. It is squat and square, and not that appealing to look at, but to some poor toons, it is home. To others, to the lucky ones, it is where they remember who they are, and who they can count on.


End file.
